Monday September 13 was my sweet dad's birthday. He was originally born on Friday the 13th, a day that might seem unlucky to most. But to those who've had the pleasure of meeting Brian King, Friday the 13th is the luckiest day around.
This man completed his undergrad at University of Missouri with a degree in history before continuing on to Duke Law (I know right!). After working for a corporate law firm, he felt as though he wasn't doing anything to contribute to making the world a better place, so what did he do about that? More school. He went and got his mother-fucking (sorry dad) Doctorate degree in Education (that's Dr. King to you now) so that he could eventually become a kick-ass chancellor who advocates for the importance of community college.
Dad used to let me stay at the park until dark so I could learn how to master the monkey bars, not once complaining about his crazy daughter. He read us Harry Potter, which was the first time my imagination and love for fantasy truly soared and gave me my first dream of someday becoming a writer. When I came home from college, he always did my laundry, washed my car, and got my oil changed. We've been to two Earth, Wind, and Fire concerts together, singing all the words through our huge smiles the entire time. He's so patient with me when I forget something important, which happens often. And finally, he supports me in everything I do. I could not be more grateful to have him as a father.
Today while sitting on the toilet (a place where thoughts often come best I'll admit) I did some reflecting about how hard this summer has been for our family. So I must share that despite being double vaccinated and healthy as hell, about a month ago my dadio caught a bad case of Covid-19--most likely the delta variant.
At first we weren't too worried, as he seemed to be doing okay. But one morning he woke up unable to breathe, causing us to rush him to the emergency room all of a sudden. For a man who runs 5 miles a day and can't really sit still for too long on vacation, I myself was not freaking out at first. He can outrun both my brother and I even with a little bit of gray hair, which I won't lie is kind of embarrassing for us. It seemed impossible that an incredibly healthy, vaccinated adult could like him really go to the hospital over a year after Covid was first introduced to the world. Truthfully, I plastered a smile on my face and remained in denial that this even was even happening at all.
Though I don't really want to admit it, this event really changed all of our lives. Death has always been one of my greatest fears, especially the death of a loved one. The first time I was truly aware of this fear was when an old friend and classmate of mine from high school passed away from cancer. Lenon was the most joyful human I've ever met, a person who always brought light, laughter, and beautiful music to any event. Standing at a funeral with other 19-year-olds, mourning the death of someone our own age was truly a brand new kind of hurt I had never experienced before in my life. It made me realize how precious each day is, and despite sounding morbid, anyone could really die at any minute.
My brother was also confronted with the possibility that our father could potentially pass away, causing him to think long and hard about what that would look like for us. I know that he contemplated how we could survive without him while closed off in his room for many days, which must have been really hard. While he tried to convince me to do the same, I firmly believe that putting myself in this kind of head space just simply is not beneficial in any way. There is no right or wrong way, in my opinion, to handle such a difficult situation like this. However, I know for a fact that handling it Christian's way just would not have worked for me.
Upon being released from the hospital after over a week's stay, my dad told me a story from when he was around my age. Sadly for him, his experience with Covid was not the first time he had to face his own mortality. He was diagnosed with testicular cancer at a young age and had to receive major surgery that could have potentially killed him. Through it all, he told me about how my grandmother (his mom) tried so hard to stay positive and not confront his death at all. She consistently told him "you aren't going to die," until he finally had to tell her "mom, I could die. People do die from cancer, all the time."
He told me about how her denial was making it even harder for him to see the other side of this horrible situation. But (especially as we were so similar) I can really relate to my grandma, because this is exactly what I did this summer. I did not even entertain the idea whatsoever, given my deep fears regarding the matter. It caused me to do a lot of self-reflection and realize that while it is important to cope in ways that benefit you, it is also important to ask the person who is ill how they'd like you to see the situation as well, along with those around you who are also struggling. But ultimately, there's no 100% right way to deal with possible impending grief such as this.
On the positive side of the situation, my dad says he sees life differently now. He is so grateful for all of the love he has in his life, love that is sometimes easy to take for granted or forget exists altogether. We received so much support during this difficult time, so if anyone who reached out is reading this we really do appreciate it. It may take him a long time to recover however, leading me into the final point of this post...
PLEASE JUST GET YOUR FUCKING VACCINE. After my own father could have died, I no longer have any patience whatsoever for those who refuse to acknowledge the horrific effects of this global pandemic.
If everyone had gotten vaccinated in the first place, the delta variant would not have been created. If he was not vaccinated, there was a much higher likelihood that my dad would have died. And while yes, studies have shown that the effects of the vaccine can start to wear off after a certain number of months, they are now approving booster shots. Most of us get the flu shot every year, which is really the same exact thing as the Covid vaccine. Our hospitals are extremely crowded, so much so that rooms are full and beds are being placed in hallways.
Before deciding against the vaccine, I kindly ask all to think of families like mine. I was lucky enough to see my dad make it out alive. Not everyone is so lucky. Healthcare workers are SO tired. Teachers are tired. Essential workers are tired, as they risk their lives and the lives of the people in their life just to cook us our fast food or stock the shelves at our local grocery store. Honestly, we are ALL tired of having to wear masks and social distance. Getting the vaccine can and will help us make it through these difficult years, and it would really mean a lot to me if everyone took the time to help keep the nation safe. Let's all consider how our actions directly affect so many around us and get vaccinated. Thank you and lots of love <3
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