Monday night my sweet angel girl met her angels, so I figured I would take some time to write and reflect about both grief for her loss and gratitude for all of the wonderful memories we've shared together over the past 14 years.
Somehow one day in third grade, my brother and I convinced my mom to take us to the pound in Scott's Valley to look at the dogs. My mother is a very caring person who is great with animals and convincing her of things has never been a very difficult feat to be honest. So we hopped in the car, ready for an adventure. We had no idea we'd be taking home the love of our lives that day!
I truly credit the "picking" of sweet Cider to my mama, for upon seeing her, I think she just knew. Cider had just been taken in to the shelter recently after being homeless on the streets and separated from her sister. When the employees put Cider on a leash and took her outside to get aquatinted with us, my mom just had an immediate feeling that she would be the most wonderful companion. Though she was timid, for a young dog Cider had such a sense of calm about her that was so comforting to the three of us. She'd look at you with her beautiful brown eyes just long enough to make anyone melt into the turf that stood under our feet that day.
I found an old video of the first day we took her home that brought me to tears. My dad, behind the camera recording, zooms in on my brother who is hugging Cider with all of his might. He continues to love on her, petting her, moving her food bowls around, and talking to her sweetly until my dad in the background says "Christian told me this was the happiest day of his life. He said our family went form 4 to 5 today." And he could not have been more correct!
Cider was never the most cuddly dog, but you know how much she loved you regardless. I loved having her sleep on my bed, especially when she would adjust herself until she was sitting right next to me, touching my legs. She used to be able to jump feet in the air when she got excited, most notably if you ever asked her if she wanted to go for a "walk!" (so much so that we had to resort to using the w-a-l-k method that so many dog owners understand). If I was crying, she might not cuddle up to me, but I'd always get a facial lick and she wouldn't leave my side. She was always the best listener. Sometimes I'm made fun of, but I always feel like a part of her understood me when I poured out my heart to her. She always stayed downstairs in the kitchen when I blasted music alone and danced around for hours, despite how loud it truly was. She was really just always there, quietly sitting but showing you that she deeply cared for you no matter what.
And that's the beautiful thing about a pet. Sometimes it sounds cheesy to hear people talk about animals being a part of their family, but in reality it's just the truth. Cider has really seen it all; every celebration, accomplishment, argument, tantrum, heartbreak, change, and all the little moments in-between. And oh boy, if only she could talk...I'd love (and perhaps be a little scared) to hear what that old girl would have to say!
We're going to miss Cider more than she knows, but it really, truly was her time to leave this earth--I'm sure of it. Anyone who ever met her was overwhelmed by her gentle demeanor and peaceful aura. She'd never hurt a fly, a statement I know so many of who were touched by her presence can attest to. We're comforted knowing that she's no longer struggling; I know now she's able to run, jump, eat, play, and chase her tennis ball freely without the pain she ultimately experienced at the end.
Cider's passing helped me put into perspective the shortness of life. It feels like yesterday that we brought this timid dog home from the shelter, despite the years and years of love and quality time we were able to spend with her. The grief and loss my family is facing is just another beautiful reminder to be grateful for every blessing we have in the present moment, avoiding fear of the future and letting go of pain from the past. We love you forever sweet Cider, rest easy lovey-girl.
PEACE AND LOVE
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