If my dad and brother are reading this, I just know they are going to start laughing at what a hippy I have become this summer. I hope it's not just one of my ADHD hyper-fixations because I have really been enjoying the discovery of my own spirituality lately!
Monday was the new moon and I bought a bunch of crystals and saged my room to cleanse the very negative energy it held (aka sadness from crying into my pillow lol). It felt really nice to let some tears drip onto my little Mr. Winnie the Pooh while listening to Phoebe Bridgers and the Fleet Foxes before setting my intentions for this next phase that's to come. I'm very glad no one came into my room to wittness that shit show though.
Tuesday was my first day "student teaching." If I am being completely truthful, every time I am volunteering in an elementary classroom I just feel ready to be doing the damn thing for real! I know that is naive and I have a lot to learn, but honestly 6 years of school to teach some 7-year-olds 5+5 ain't it sister. Instead of having that negative view, I'm just going to focus on the sweet kiddos and how I can do my best to help them out this year.
They are incredibly behind academically, which is heartbreaking to watch. Forcing them to do school online at such a fundamental age unfortunately really did hinder their development and prevented them from age-appropriate growth. Some of my second graders don't even know the full alphabet and its sounds, which they are supposed to have memorized by the end of kindergarten.
They really crack me up though! On the first day, one girl asked my age and I told her to guess. For her first guess, she asked "are you 77?" I said no, try again. This time, she asked me if I was 12. I just adore the way that kids really do not understand the passage of time and I sometimes long to feel that feeling once again. Unfortunately when they ask me who my boyfriend is I can no longer say Harry Styles either like I did with the kindergarteners, since these kiddos seem actually know who he is. Bummer for me... feel free to leave suggestions for a new fake boyfriend name in the comments or text me.
Kids are such lights in the midst of this somewhat of a darkness that we call life. I'm grateful I've chosen a career where I get to spend time around them every single day and learn from the way in which they see the world. No matter their current situation, they always seem to see the world in color rather than black and white. I'm not sure exactly when some of us lose this part of ourselves, but I hope I'm able to prevent it for some of them throughout my lifetime as a teacher.
At the end of the day Tuesday, one little girl (who had been struggling all day) was really excited to point to the ceiling where a beautiful green dragonfly had landed. I found that to be very coincidental, seeing as I had recently watched a tarot reading about the dragonfly oracle AND bought a dragonfly ring from the crystal store (yes I know I sound crazy but simply do not care). This little creature stayed on the ceiling for the rest of the day, and I would occasionally look up and smile at it. It felt kind of like it was sitting there telling me that everything was going to be okay.
The last time I saw a really beautiful dragonfly and took a picture of it, I was two days away from heading to Poland to teach English! I remember being really nervous and wishing there was a chance for me to maybe back out. Thinking about this, upon coming home I looked up the spiritual meaning of a dragonfly only to become even more delighted. In many cultures, the dragonfly symbolizes important changes, growth, and and abundance of joy in one's life. I've been struggling a little bit with all this change going on right now, so this was a nice reminder that I am on the right path.
Another really cool thing (well maybe not, depending on how you look at it) about dragonflies is that they only live for up to 56 days!! Due to the short nature of their life cycle, the dragonfly is also a gentle reminder to live more in the present moment. What a mf callout, since this is something I am absolutely TERRIBLE at! I'm glad I read about this though and now I'm going to work on being more appreciative of the little things in life.
Then this morning I was pulling my window shades up and I saw a nymph dragonfly just sitting upon the blinds, intently watching me. I carefully picked it up and carried it outside to let it go, but not before smiling and telling it thanks for the sign again. People can choose to believe what they want, but I think that these dragonflies were really sent to me to reassure me that I'm going to be just fine!
Whether we see things as signs or not, it doesn't hurt to take extra notice of the world around us and its beauty :) Peace and love y'all xo
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