I recently started reading a book called Signs, the Secret Language of the Universe by Laura Lynne Jackson. Jackson is a spiritual medium who can connect with those who have passed on from this life.
For many, it may seem like a "hippy" type of book to read, understand, and believe in, as many are very skeptical in regards to the nature of mediums. Especially for those who have religious beliefs (or like me, once did), mediums are often portrayed as negative figures sent by the devil and we are told to stay far away. However, none of the messages in this book have even the slightest hint of maliciousness to them. In fact, they have actually brought me a lot of hope during a slightly ~darker~ time in my life right now.
Jackson encourages us that we all have the power to connect with our loved ones who have passed on, as long as we are willing to try. It might sound daunting, but really think about it: have you ever felt like you have received a sign from a loved one when you miss them? Most of us have. I've heard stories from friends of smelling their grandfather's cologne in random places outside of the home, long after his passing. Someone I knew in middle school saw his late father's favorite fish jump right onto the front of his surfboard while in the water.
To many, these might seem like coincidences. When I told my dad about this, he said "our minds sure do some interesting things," which was his logical way of telling me that we make ourselves believe in things that might not be true. Sure, logically our brains do have the power to fill in the gaps that we might feel like our lives are full of. But people like my dad sometimes do not want to think about a spiritual world beyond our 3D ones and prefer to believe in themselves and reality. But with all due respect to you dad, I completely, wholeheartedly disagree.
Recently I have been missing my grandma with every fiber of my being. She was a vibrant, hilarious, witty woman with a heart full of love. When my dad and aunt were kids, those in charge of the church they attended gave grandma the her own set of keys to lock up every Sunday afternoon. It's not because she worked for the organization, or because she was the most responsible member; it is because she was always the last person there after talking to every damn living soul she could find (now she certainly wouldn't love my cursing, but she loved me so it's okay).
It wasn't until I got older that I realized how much this story resembled me. I'm often the last to leave the party, as I simply can't seem to get enough meaningful social interaction in a day! When I say goodbye, those who know me well often roll their eyes and say "yeah, right." As I continue to mature and value social connection to a higher degree, grandma's story about locking up the church makes me feel close to her in a way I never did as a child.
My grandma was a first-grade teacher for 30 years. She was even awarded the very politically incorrect award of "prettiest schoolteacher," one that most definitely (and fortunately) would not fly today (lol). When she passed away, hundreds of her former students came to her memorial service to shake hands with us and talk about her legacy. I already knew how much she cared for each and every one of her students, but witnessing this beautiful moment brought a whole new meaning to the selfless, incredible, badass life she lived (sorry again for cursing grandma).
After meeting so many of the people who's lives she truly touched, I felt deeply inspired to follow in her footsteps. Now that I'm only a year away from being a teacher myself, I can't stop thinking about her and wishing she was still here. I'd love to get some advice about teaching or hear her tell me how proud of me she is. I'd love to recognize her sweet but loud laugh from all the way across a room, or to feel her soft two-hand squeezes that translated in her language to "I love you and I'm glad you're mine."
Author Lynne Jackson tells us that if we are missing someone, all you have to do is ask them to send you a sign that they are with you. It might sound crazy, but I decided to give it a try. My grandma always had a beautiful garden full of blooming flowers--her favorite of all being pansies--so I simply asked her to send me pansies in some form or another. A couple of weeks went by with nothing, so I decided that I just didn't have the ability to connect with her on that level and continued about my daily life.
Then today I felt a sudden, random urge to look through old photo albums. I found many scrapbooks that my grandma had made for us as kids, labeled and decorated like a true (and cute) teacher! Feeling nostalgic, as one does when looking at past memories, I sat on the floor with tears starting to escape my eyes. Out loud, I said "I miss you grandma. Wish you were here." Moments after this, I was rummaging through more photos, only to come across one single picture of gorgeous, blooming flowers in a garden. Wonder what kind of flowers they were? Yup, you guessed it: Pansies!
Maybe this was all just a big coincidence that I built up dramatically in my head to feel more connected to my grandma. But deep down, I know that she was right there with me. She knows how much we miss her and how much I needed her in that moment. The people we love are always around, watching us look to the stars and cheering us on whether we reach them or not. Though life's joys might sometimes feel lonely without the people we once held close, today was a special reminder that I am never really alone.
The universe works in mysterious ways. Despite the inescapable pain that constantly swirls around us, we all have the courage deep inside to open our eyes and appreciate the precious gifts that are sent to us as reminders that everything is going to be okay <3
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